Bed Bugs - 24th July

The interior of the main room before all our stuff arrives

“Good night sleep tight, don’t let the bed bugs bite”. How often as children had I chanted those words. Well I wish someone had chanted them a bit louder over the course of these past two weeks because the bed bugs have been biting and I am getting a bit tired of being viewed as a sleeping buffet for the rotten little critters. At first I thought I had developed a rash around my stomach from lifting up piles of dried grass and undergrowth which we had cleaned out of the garden, but eventually I couldn’t ignore the fact that they had decided that whereas Jean was singularly bland and tasteless, I was incredibly delicious and there was probably so much more of me to enjoy. They have the cheek to only go for the fat bits so consequently, my rear end and waistline look as though I have been targeted in some sort of paintball tournament, and of course there are always the couple of bites just below the shoulder blade where it is impossible to scratch.

We have tried the sprays from the hardware section of the supermarket and hauled the mattress and the bedding out in the hot sun for the day, and for a time, they seemed to ease off, and then they return with renewed vigour to dine once more. I am quite sure that an elderly lady in the village would suggest that I place a bowl of bay leaves under the bed or make amorous advances to a large frog, but for the time being, I am going to slather myself in aloe vera cream and see if the little devils can stand the taste of it.

The house has been closed up for a very long time and with the heat of the past few months together with some exceptionally good rains, there is little surprise that the bugs have been breeding very happily in the dark. Now that the doors and windows have been flung open, they are making a last ditch attempt to leave their mark on their home, and they are certainly leaving their mark on me.

At least it must be a fairly universal problem because all the big supermarkets sell large bottles of insect repellent with another one attached for free. I would happily go out into the highways and byways and find some sort of plant to rub on myself but I am waiting for my copy of the wonderful Messegues book with all this sort of information, to arrive, so for the time being, I spray, pray, and wait for the beasties to give up.